Wednesday, September 14, 2016

Twittering With a Canine Accent

I almost forgot that my dog has a Twitter account.  Apparently it got hacked and Twitter sent Oscar a message to change his password.  While perusing through his postings I thought it might be good to put them all on here, kind of a "get to know Oscar" kind of thing.  They are listed chronological with the newest on top and oldest on bottom.  Oscar hasn't posted since March 2012?  What a lazy dog.
  1. Oscar Dog@LordOscar 23 Mar 2012
    Fox in with hens. I scare it away with ferocious barks from safely inside the house. I'm a hero.
  2. Yesterday we had five visitors, all of which I had to bark at furiously. Today I'm exhausted.
  3. Laying on my back with 4 paws dangling limply in the air & tongue hanging out the side of my mouth means I'm supremely happy, not dead.
  4. I sit, lay, shake, & roll over as fast as I can hoping one of those tricks is right & will get me a treat.
  5. My hair's so long I eat it with my food. Get a clue, people.
  6. Big wedding here tomorrow. Half pint people chasing me all day. TIRED!
  7. I just not a morning dog.
  8. My girl is well trained. I woof, she lifts me up, I bark, she gives me a cookie.
  9. Fried Chicken for dinner! .... I mean,picked off chicken skin and gristle for dinner! Yummmmmm
  10. I know what you're spelling. You'd better give me a cookie too.
  11. Recovering from knee surgery. They make me walk! It's ruff.
  12. I get grumpy if I don't get my daily 18 hours of sleep.
  13. New chew toy for Christmas. Awesome squeek, interesting flavor, fits my mouth well. Good job Santa.
  14. Time to dust off my paws and tweet. I've been recovering from surgery. Blew out a knee chasing rabbits. Dang bunnies....
  15. Oscar Dog @LordOscar 24 Aug 2010
  16. What don't I like about going for long walks? the walking.
    1. Cabin in the woods tomorrow. I get the bed.
    1. Chasing a baby bunny under a shed - good idea. Getting stuck - bad idea.
    1. Dog-gone it, I'm hot!
    1. I shall survey all of my domain, until nap time.

    1. Short walks = good. Long walks = I better be carried.
    1. Spring is in the air. Where are the poodles?

    1. Wading through tummy deep snow plus long fur equals clumpy snow legs. and one very cold puppy dog.
    1. Red alert, red alert. small boys coming tomorrow. Must find hiding place.
    1. Just because the santa suit dog coat was 75 percent off doesn't mean you should buy and put it on me. I look ree-diculous.

    1. They made me walk around the block today. A COUNTRY block! In the SNOW. Twice! They are trying to kill me.

    1. New human in the house. Must investigate. Sniff, sniff, owns cat of the female kind, 2 years old, fresh from a jaunt through the woods. hmm

    1. The small humans are gone now. Whew.

    1. Recipe for disaster, Mix a 3 and 1 year old and pour into my domain on Christmas day and you get one grouchy grizzly bear of a pup.
    1. Tummy rubs equal doggy prozac. Its cheaper and calms rub-ber and rub-ee alike.

    1. Steak for dinner. I must use my jedi mind tricks. He will give in and toss me some.

    1. I find that my man cannot resist my intent stare while he eats chicken. He always gives in and tosses me some.
    1. I love my kitty friend. And her ears are delicious to chew on.
    1. Its a cuddle with my mama kind of night.
    1. Shes cleaning out the fridge. Old chunks of steak. Yessssss

    1. I have my dignity. I refuse to beg. ....unless theres steak for dinner, or someother kind of meat, ...or food.

    1. I freezing. Got to cuddle with the kitty, and maybe chew on his ears.

    1. I hate going outside to pee in below zero temps. That christmas tree in the living room is looking tempting.

    1. too much pacing today, my dogs are barking. um, I mean my paws are a teeny weeny bit tender.

    1. Its Sunday morning people. Jeez, cant you let sleeping dogs lie?

    1. Cold night. I think I need to cuddle with the cat. Come here kitty kitty.

    1. Busy day. Slept on couch, slept on floor, chased cat, ate treats, slept on bed, ate treats, slept on chair. Whew!

    1. The only thing better than a dog bone is 2 dog bones!

    1. Roll over and fall out of bed? I meant to do that.

    1. My family came home. Im so excited. Im wiggling and squirming. Ive lost my dignity, but I cant help it. I love my fam.

    1. deep fat fry, deep fat fry, music to my ears.

    1. Turkey! and lots and lots of leftovers. and lots and lots of people to throw me a piece. Happy day!

    1. Im just a little snuggle bunny.

    1. Men working in front of the house. Blood Pressure rising. Must protect the castle. Must eat the men. Or at least bark at them...all day.
    1. Its freezing and snowing and he expects me to pee where? Id like to see him go out in the snow.
    1. They took off my sweater AND my collar. I feel so naked!
    1. I love weekends. More people around to toss me bones, and chunks of meat, and other goodies.
    1. All this talk of being a cat or dog person. What a lot of hooey. Im a dogs dog. You just be a mans man and give me a treat, pronto!
    1. She just took my blanket away. Grrrrrrr She needs a reminder about who is top dog around here.
    1. Go ahead, toss me kitty yum yumm. Treats is treats!
    1. It's not only a dog's life, It's MY life!
    1. I love going for walks. Its not my problem that my paws were barking. and I had to be carried home.
    1. Monday morning blahs. My man needs to be quieter when he gets ready for work. I need my beauty sleep.
    1. Yea, roast beef for dinner. I must practice my sad hungry puppy eyes.
    1. Hard work never killed anyone.....but I don't want to take any chances.
    1. Catnip must be yummy. Pa Cat wont leave it alone. I'll try some. Mmmmmmm....taste like cardboard.

    1. Ears are my favorite chew toy. Especially kitty ears. I just wish the dang cat would hold still longer.
    1. Move over man. Your stealing my pillow.

    1. "nick nack patty wack.........." My new favorite song.
    1. Why do I take my dog food 1 mouthfull at a time into the living room to eat? Cause it tastes better with the carpet fuzz mixed in.

    1. My radio fence collar is off! inch forward, inch beeping.....I'm free!!!
    1. Every time I stand by the cupboard my man goes in the other room and gets me a cookie. I've got him well trained.
    1. "Ding Dong" ARF ARF ARF ARF ARF LET ME AT THE INTRUDER! I WILL KILL HIM! oops, my man forgot the key after our walk and I'm the intruder.

    1. Doorbell! Must bark, must bark, must defend my castle.

    1. Flat noses. Perfect for bumping my man's leg when he brings home fried chicken. Evolution rocks.

    1. Lhasa Apso's are SUPPOSED to have long hair. I'm naked now and it was 17 degrees last night. What was my man thinking?


    Abby said...

    I forgot you had this! Are you going to keep it up?

    mitchowl said...

    I don't have anything. And I'll ask Oscar if he plans on continuing his tweeting.

    Lisa said...

    This is bizarre...