Snippets

How long can the flu last? I keep thinking he's over it, but no dice. I guess he needs to build back up his strength. He hasn't had anything but apples for days. Don't ask me why he just wanted apples. He said it was the only thing that appealed to him. I did manage to entice him to eat about 2 ounces of steak tonight. He also had a heaping bowl of jello.

Well, that's not quite accurate. He heaped his bowl with jello, and then ate about half of it. I think his eyes were bigger than his tummy. And this is the kid I could never fill up.

It was my kind of day today. Rainy! I went for a walk in it. It was invigorating. Then I came back to a stifling hot house. Joni got at the thermometer again. I swear that girl needs to move to Arizona. Or the equator.

I enjoyed conference. The last two days were full of peace and comfort. I'm glad I could listen to most of it. I finished a necklace I started making yesterday. It's pretty good I think. Joni liked it and she's my fashion consultant, so I guess I did okay. Maybe I'll even post a picture of it. Maybe.

I decided to tackle my drawing again and turn it into an illustration. I scanned it and brought it into Photoshop. Wow! I really forgot how to use Photoshop. I worked on it for an hour, cleaning up the lines and designing it a bit better. Then I printed it out. My big plan was to transfer the pattern to a piece of Bristol paper and ink it. Then I was going to watercolor it. Now that it's on the paper and inked I almost think I might put it back in Photoshop and paint it in there. Who knows, maybe I'll do both. I'm just plugging away at my art, trying to get my groove back. I guess it will get easier, but right now I feel like I'm stuck in mud, straining at each step as I pull my galoshed boot from the sucking mud. I can't wait to get back on the little forest path that winds around in effortless and interesting ways.

It had to be Swine

I found out how they keep the Swine Flue numbers so low for this area.
They don't test anyone to see if they have it!

Andy has been sick for over a week. I've never seen anyone so sick for so long. He really got bad last Friday and Saturday. On Sunday morning we decided we'd better take him up to the hospital. Mike called first and was told, "we wouldn't do anything for him that you can't do at home, and we'd just cost a lot more money".

So we kept him home.

When he first got sick I asked him how he felt.
"I'm dizzy everytime I stand up, I can't quit sweating, I ache all over, my stomach hurts, and it feels like I have tobacco in my throat."
Huh? I said, "I didn't know you knew what having tobacco in your throat feels like."
and he said, "I do now!"

He's had a high fever and a hard time breathing all week. He's sweated buckets. One night he lost 7 pounds. All the blankets sheets, and pillows he's used have been washed and rewashed. Every time I touch something I think, "Andy probably touched/breathed on/coughed on this" and I go wash my hands. My hands feel like dry sandpaper. The house smells like Lysol. I've got 4 cans that I continue to use in copious amounts everytime I think Andy has probably touched/breathed on/coughed on anything. I'm not known for my stellar immune system, but so far I haven't caught anything (knock on wood).

He's looking a lot better this afternoon. I'm glad. I just hope his fever doesn't spike again tonight. Just one morning I would like to wake up and not see a pile of sweat-soaked blankets and Andy-sized clothes strewn all over the bathroom.

Now if you'll excuse me I'm going to go wash my hands and spray down the keyboard.

Just Start

I was in a group of people. We were waiting. I had a pencil and a pad of paper with me. I looked around. There were some very interesting faces. They hardly moved as we waited. I started to draw. It felt pretty good. It's been a long time since I've drawn anything. I was quite startled to realize that what I was drawing was really good! I thought to myself, "why haven't I been drawing for so long? I'm pretty dang good at it!" The faces were captured on my pad, one after another.

The waiting ended. I hurriedly put away my pad and pencil and stood up.

and then I woke up.

I think it was a sign. I need to start drawing again, whether I feel like it or not.

So tonight, after cleaning up another vomit mess and feeling drained that after a week my son was still sick, I went in the studio.

I got out my pad, and my pencil, and I started to draw.

and I thought to myself, "why haven't I been drawing for so long? I'm pretty dang bad at it!..........but I'll get better."

And you know what? It felt pretty dang good.

Hope

Fear not, I am with thee

When little Jace was diagnosed with Leukemia last week, his world turned upside down.
And so did his parent's.

Things are never the same after a diagnosis of cancer. When in the thick of the illness you lose touch with the life you led before. Things that used to loom so important barely even register in your conscious mind.

Sports. (Why all the fuss? Did I really care that much? What was I thinking?)
Success. (Don't care about the promotion. Don't care about overtime. Just don't drop me from insurance.)
Popular culture (What new movie? What new book? Who cares what the latest style is as long as my body is covered so I can get to the hospital.)

I remember going to the store for the first time after learning of my Dad's cancer. I felt like everyone was so blind. Don't they all know of the change which has occured? Can't they see it on my face? Can't they see my pain?

And later, when all the treatments had stopped, and my Dad was within days of dying. I couldn't help it. When a store clerk or casual acquainences would ask if I was having a good day I would tell them.
No.
I'm not.

And I would think,
My Dad will most likely be dead by next week.
Thanks for asking.

There's something about learning of another's cancer diagnosis that brings all this back to the forefront. And makes it seem like it's happening all over again.

Even though my Dad was old, and the old are expected to die
It's still hard.

Jace is so young,
and so the pain is compounded.
He's been in my thoughts a lot since I heard.
And so have his parents.

And whenever I think of them, I think of these words:

Fear not, I am with thee; O be not dismayed!
For I am thy God, and will still give thee aid;
I'll strengthen thee, help thee, and cause thee to stand,
Upheld by my righteous, omnipotent hand.

It speaks peace to my soul. I hope it will speak also to them.

Pics from the Coast

He's so cute!



Mike, sucking in for the pic.









If you look really hard you can see people down in the water.

Friday:
Drive to Newport Beach, Oregon.

Saturday:
Play, including scouting out the area for future possible retirement location possibilities.
Stay the night at Agate Beach, Oregon

Sunday:
Play, including going to the Dahlia festival and Richardson Rock Ranch.

Monday:
Drive home.

Can't wait.

Can't wait.

Can't

wait.